Tag: roles

The Bible on Hair Care

~ fundyreformed ~ 5 Comments

No, I haven’t yet found a Biblical defense for using Pert’s Plus. I’m talking about what the Bible says about hair length.

This may be a surprise to you, but listen to what Paul says in 1 Cor. 11:14-15.

Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him, but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering.

What do we do with this teaching? In my fundamentalist upbringing, we had hair rules, and for us guys: hair check. If our hair was getting anywhere near our shirt collar or ear lobes, we would be in trouble. Demerits and/or detention would come in a hurry!

It’s easy to discount such standards as tomfoolery. Along with the head covering that 1 Cor. 11 refers to, we can easily contextualize this command as appropriate for Corinthians only. But are we doing justice to Paul’s appeal to “nature” here?

This is the question that a bunch of reforming fundamentalists and I have been addressing in one of our forum topics over at our new group site: Transformed by Grace. The discussion has avoided hard and fast extra Biblical rules, and has been quite profitable. Let me share one small quote, out of several I gave in the discussion. This is from Tom Schreiner in the book Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (Crossway):

Paul’s point, then, is that how men and women wear their hair is a significant indication of whether they are abiding by the created order. Of course, what constitutes long hair is often debated–what is appropriately masculine or feminine in hairstyle may vary widely from culture to culture.

I agree. On this point, I concluded with the following:

I do think women’s hair should be generally long, and men’s generally short. There is some room for varying styles and cultural fashions, but I do think today many of the short, short hairstyles worn by women are both non-attractive, and not glorifying to God.

What do you think? Does the Bible deal with our hair care? What about hairstyles today, is everything neutral or a-moral? Should a Christian look to the Bible before they run to a hairdresser? Please join the discussion in the comments here, or visit the Transformed by Grace forum on the question.

One last point: the Biblical view of a distinction between the genders being reinforced by our dress is also taught in Deut. 22:5. I dealt with that passage (often misused to condemn all women who wear pants) in an earlier post.

Submitting to God’s Will in Marriage — 1 Pet. 3:1-7 (part 2)

~ Bob Hayton ~ 5 Comments

This is part 2 of an outline from a lesson I gave for my small group, recently. Read part one first.

Submitting to God’s Will in Marriage (1 Pet. 3:1-7) —
Part 2: The Husband

I realize this is a thorny topic for many. I’d like to recommend a couple resources before I continue here. For much of this lesson, I’m dependent on a chapter from Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: A Response to Evangelical Feminism (edited by John Piper and Wayne Grudem). Wayne Grudem’s chapter “Wives Like Sarah, and Husbands Who Honor Them” focuses on these seven verses in 1 Peter. Also,a pastor at C.J. Mahaney’s Covenant Life Church, in Gaithersburg, MD has written an extremely helpful book from this complementarian perspective on marriage: Love That Lasts: When Marriage Meets Grace. Gary and Betsy Ricucci (Betsy is C.J.’s sister) have really outdone themselves with that book, you’ll find it very practical. I’d also recommend perusing the Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood’s website, where you will find a rich resource with many online articles covering all aspects of this issue, from the practical to the apologetical. Finally, feel free to check out the few posts I have made on these topics (listed here and here).

2. Considerate Leadership — The Husband (1 Pet. 3:7)

A. Definition.

1) Leadership

Because this verse is tacked on to the instructions for how a woman should submit, we can understand it as applying to how a husband leads his wife. he must do so considerately. It should also be noted that 3:1-7 clearly shows that the husband leads, and leadership is not equally shared. Both submission and leadership are not optional. “Husbands cannot rightly opt out of family leadership and become passive non-participants in decisions and activities. Neither can they rightly make the opposite mistake and exercise harsh, selfish, domineering authority in their families….” (Grudem)

2) Considerate Leadership

“In an understanding way” literally is “according to knowledge”. So husbands are to live together with their wives according to knowledge. Exactly what that knowledge is, is not specified. Likely it would include knowledge of God’s Word relating to marriage, and intimate knowledge of his wife (emotionally, physically, spiritually, etc.). Living according to this knowledge means understanding your wife and treating her carefully and lovingly, yet realizing the Biblical call to lead her and the family.

This call to live understandingly with the wife parallels the Biblical emphasis in the commands to husbands as it relates to marriage. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ sacrificially loved the church (Eph. 5:25). They are to love them as their own bodies, love them “as yourself” (Eph. 5:28, 33). Husbands are to love their wives and “not be harsh with them” (Col. 3:19).

B. Rationale for Considerate Leadership.

1) The wife is the “weaker vessel”.

This means, most basically, that she is vulnerable to being taken advantage of. In the context, she has a lesser role (not lesser importance, mind you) with regards to leadership. She is also physically weaker, and she has emotional vulnerabilities (hinted at in vs. 6). Emotional sensitivity is a great strength, but it opens one up to a likelihood of being “hurt deeply by conflict within a marriage or by inconsiderate behavior” (Grudem). Since the wife is vulnerable both in light of her position as under the husband, as well as her physical makeup, such a strong call for husbands to be considerate, and to show honor is needed.

2) The wife is a joint heir with her husband in the faith.

In Christ we are all one, there is no “male or female” even as there is no “Jew or Gentile”. Hence we should live together considerately, and men should treat their wives honorably.

3) This matter is vitally important and affects our prayers.

Prayers are hindered if the husband harshly treats his wife. Prayers are helped if he gives her honor. God cares about our marriages, and maintaining a healthy and godly marriage is very important — it pleases God.

C. Qualities of Considerate Leadership.

1) Consideration and Kindness for the wife. — living with her “in an understanding way”.

2) Honor for the submissive wife.

Husbands should not just be considerate, they must actually go out of their way to bestow honor on the godly and submissive wife. The word for “woman” is used only here in the Bible and refers to the idea of “feminine one” — a woman in tune with her godly femininity. This woman is the one worthy of honor.

3) Prayerful direction of the family.

Vs. 7 makes it seem that husbands should be praying and that prayer if vital for families. We should pray for our families and lead them from our knees.

Submitting to God's Will in Marriage — 1 Pet. 3:1-7 (part 1)

~ fundyreformed ~ 7 Comments

I’m reproducing the outline from a lesson I gave for my small group, recently. I think 1 Peter 3:1-7 is a beautiful passage on marriage that often gets overlooked. Much can be gained from studying just these seven small verses.

Submitting to God’s Will in Marriage (1 Pet. 3:1-7) —
Part 1: The Wife

Introduction

The preceding section (the last half of chapter 2) focuses on the Christian’s call to submit to God in society. He is to submit to ordinances and rulers, kings and governors, and by so doing is to honer God. Chapter 3 verses 1 and 7 both tie in to that context with the words “Likewise”. In marriage both the wife and the husband are called on to honor God through submission to His roles for marriage. in this, they follow the example of Jesus Christ, Who submitted Himself to God and left us an example that we should follow in His steps (2:21). Whether with regards to civil government (2:13-17), employment (2:18-20), marriage (3:1-7), or the church (5:5), we are to be subject to God-ordained authorities “for the Lord’s sake” (2:13).

1. Beautiful Submission — The Wife (1 Pet. 3:1-6)

A. Definition of Submission.

The idea of submission is clearly defined by this text.

Vs. 1-2 — Being subject = husbands see “your respectful and pure conduct”.

Vs. 3-5 — The adornment of a godly woman is the internal “gentle and quiet spirit” which has unfading “beauty”. This internal adornment also involves “submitting to their husbands”.

Gentle means “meek”, “not insistent on one’s own rights”; “not pushy, not selfishly assertive,” or “not demanding one’s own way” (Grudem). “The word refers to the humble and gentle attitude that expresses itself in a patient submissiveness; it could be used in the context of a meek and quiet spirit as a response to slander (Balch, from Linguistic and Exegetical Key to the New Testament, by Cleon Rogers). The adjective form of “gentle” used here, occurs only 3 other times, two of them describing Christ’s gentleness (Matt. 11:20, 21:5, and also Matt. 5:5). The noun form is more frequently used (cf. Gal. 5:23).

Vs. 6 — “Submitting to their husbands” includes willing obedience and respect.

To summarize, submission is “respectful’, “pure”, has unfading “beauty”, involves a “gentle and quiet spirit”, is meek, does not demand one’s own way, and at the very least includes willing obedience and respect. Wayne Grudem defines submission as “an inner quality of gentleness that affirms the leadership of the husband”.

B. Benefits of Submission.

Vs. 1-2 — The conversion of a lost husband (even to a lost man, submission seems right and beautiful, and even compelling).

Vs. 4 — A strong personal beauty which does not fade.

Vs. 4-6 — Special favor from God. A submissive spirit is “of great worth” to God. Being known as “daughters of Sarah” means proving to be genuine Christians, and even more than that, proving worthy of the kind of special honor Sarah receives.

vs. 7 — Honor from a godly husband (and indirectly from all godly men).

C. Hindrances to Submission.

Vs. 1 — The difficulty of a lost (or even a backslidden / overbearing) husband. (Even such a difficult situation does not permit one to shirk the Biblical call to submission.)

Vs. 3 — The temptation to live for worldly status, sexy recognition, etc.

Vs. 6b — Fear of the consequences if she submits (fear of the unknown, worry over her well-being or sense of personhood, fear of other’s thoughts of her, fear of a disobedient or unbelieving husband).

D. Strength for Submission.

Vs. 3-4 — Focus on what God thinks (submission is to Him, “very precious”).

Vs. 5 — Hope in God. He is good, His way is right, His promises are true.

Vs. 6 — Be mindful of the Gospel, and your status as Sarah’s daughters (God’s people).

2:13, 21) — Remember Christ’s example, and that all of this is for the Lord’s sake (it pleases Him).