Tag: mother

“Broken Pieces and the God Who Mends Them: Schizophrenia Through a Mother’s Eyes” by Simonetta Carr

~ Bob Hayton ~ 1 Comment

Broken Pieces and the God Who Mends Them: Schizophrenia Through a Mother's Eyes by Simonetta CarrFew things are more distressing and perplexing than mental illness. In generations past, the mentally ill were shut away from all hope in insane asylums; and the actions of “lunatics” were often blamed on demons or devilry. Today medical knowledge has grown concerning the brain’s role in mental illness, and the help that various medications can provide has offered hope to the afflicted. Yet even still, society as a whole often continues to ignore and shun the mentally ill and their loved ones. Mental illness is sanitized through the institutionalization (or even incarceration) of its sufferers; or it is under-estimated in its effect, leading to dire consequences for those who are unable to find real help through the current medical system. The Church amplifies this problem, both by holding on to assumptions related to demonic causality and by being skeptical of psychiatry and medications. The result is a myriad of silent sufferers, both in and outside of our churches.

Slowly the tide is turning however. More and more the stigma is being lifted for afflictions such as clinical depression and schizophrenia. An understanding exists that depression may be medically induced, after all Christians get depressed too! Similarly, sufferers of schizophrenia can be helped through medicine and therapy. And slowly the Church is waking up to this reality. And this awakening is largely due to people who have suffered/are suffering the impacts of mental illness and who are speaking out and calling for the Church to be a real help.

Simonetta Carr is just such a person. In her new book Broken Pieces and the God Who Mends Them: Schizophrenia Through a Mother’s Eyes, she bares her soul in telling us the gripping story of her son’s brief (and tragic) battle with schizophrenia. In a poignant account she recounts what it is like from a parent’s perspective to see your college-aged child brought to their knees through this illness. She highlights the very real shame and loneliness that confront the mentally ill and their loved ones. And she testifies to how her faith in the sovereignty of God and an “already, not yet” hope combined to keep her going through the darkest of times. By the end of the story, the reader is broken with her as she grieves over her son’s untimely death.

Yet this emotional and very personal story, is not an end in itself. Carr goes on to help those who follow behind her in dealing with mental illness. The second part of the book is full of advice and explanation, resources and admonitions — it is a road-map for those who must follow in her steps dealing with the particulars of schizophrenia or other similar mental illnesses. She shares the stories of other parents or patients, and even some pastors — and mixes in quotes from experts and doctors and many an old-time preacher or Reformation-era writing.

This book is a joy to read and will be treasured by those caring for loved ones and friends who are mentally ill. No matter what stage you are in, newly diagnosed or even in bereavement, this book will be a balm for your soul. It can benefit the non-Christian reader, but is especially relevant for the Christian. Perhaps no darker storm or more grievous trial can be found than mental illness, and Simonetta Carr will help you hold onto your faith and joy through all of the ups and downs ahead of you.

Here is a sampling of some of her advice:

I wanted to be there, in mind if not in body, as if I were the only one who could shield my son — as if my thoughts, prayers, and actions were indispensable to his protection. (p. 267)

The sooner we realize that we are not our loved ones’ saviors and can’t provide an answer to all their needs, the easier both our lives and theirs will be. We will be able to relax and persevere on our course, because we will not be leaning on our own strength. (p. 281)

We have the comfort of knowing that God is faithful in leading his children and that our wrong decisions cannot thwart his plans. “For those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Rom. 8:28). (p. 262)

Both in her story and her advice, Carr models a life that places a high priority on personal attendance and fellowship with a church. Her testimony of working with her church pastors and elders, and celebrating marks of grace in her son’s life were particularly helpful. The quotes by pastors and elders that she shares deserve a wide audience, as it truly is in connection with a church that sufferers and their families should find the deepest support and lasting peace.

Along these lines, Carr emphasizes advocacy and helping both the Church and the community to change their attitudes to the mentally ill. Her advice gets very practical, pointing out support groups and organizations that can help — or that may need additional volunteers. Her book also includes an annotated list of books and other resources.

I appreciated her balanced approach when it comes to evaluating the role of medicine and therapy, and dealing with spiritual issues as well. She also touches on the Christian counselor question: are Christian counselors automatically best? She warns that “greater caution” may be needed with Christian counselors as to what theology they will employ among other concerns (p. 227). I did have one small quibble with her declaration that Christians cannot be demon possessed (p. 202). This is a point of disagreement among some Christian scholars. I agree with Carr but she doesn’t acknowledge the debate or give her reasoning for her conclusion.

Broken Pieces is a one of a kind resource that I hope will bless many who suffer from mental illness. I believe churches need to be better at caring for the mentally ill and their families, and this book has the potential to educate and inform Church leaders to that end. I highly recommend it.

Learn more about the book by reading the interview of the author included here, or by perusing the links below.

Where to Buy:

Disclaimer: This book was provided by the publisher. The reviewer was under no obligation to offer a positive review.

Great New Resource on Battling Schizophrenia from P&R Publishing

~ Bob Hayton ~ Leave a comment

Broken Pieces and the God Who Mends Them: Schizophrenia Through a Mother's Eyes by Simonetta CarrNext week, P&R Publishing will be launching a helpful resource on understanding and dealing with schizophrenia. Broken Pieces and the God Who Mends Them: Schizophrenia Through a Mother’s Eyes is written by Simonetta Carr who shares a moving account of her son’s experience with schizophrenia. I’ve just finished reading an advance reader’s copy and was deeply affected by her story and encouraged by her faith in the midst of such dark storms. Not only does she recount the tragic story of her son, but she brings together a wealth of resources from a Christian perspective. Look for my full review to come closer to the official launch date (Feb. 1).

Here are some of the recommendations included in the book’s front pages:

Book Blurbs:

“The most honest and deeply moving Christian book I’ve read in a long time. Simonetta opens up her broken heart to show us the painful darkness and agonizing tragedy of serious mental illness. But she also opens the door of hope and help for other families by sharing the hard-won knowledge and resources she discovered both in the common grace of God and in the church of God. May this book transform her beloved son Jonathan’s death into life for many others.” ~ David Murray, Professor of Old Testament and Practical Theology, Puritan Reformed Theological Seminary, Grand Rapids; Author, Christians Get Depressed Too

“Broken Pieces and the God Who Mends Them is the poignant story of a mother’s emotional and spiritual journey alongside her son as he battles with cannabis abuse and schizophrenia. Simonetta Carr writes powerfully and movingly as she chronicles her son’s decline into mental illness, his change of character, her daily anxiety and guilt, and the effects of his illness on the rest of the family. The book is not only a medical voyage down the corridors of doctors, psychiatrists, and hospitals but also a spiritual pilgrimage through the Gospels. With the help of her church and Christian friends, the author leads us down an important path of how to come to terms with mental illness on many levels. This book is an essential resource and guide for anyone living with or around schizophrenia.” ~ Jonathan Aitken, Former UK Cabinet Minister; Author, John Newton: From Disgrace to Amazing Grace

“The most inspiring story I’ve ever read. Here is a woman who has suffered the greatest pain a woman can be said to suffer—the loss of her child. And yet that loss has refined and beautified her in a way that leaves the beholder awestruck at the mercy and goodness of God. This is a story of how God’s grace and love really can and do sustain his people through even the most agonizing times—even redeeming them to sanctify and glorify.” ~ Brooke Ventura, Assistant Editor, Modern Reformation

“A Christian mother’s moving, practical, courageous, and eloquent reflections on the emotional turmoil involved in caring for a son with schizophrenia. She takes the reader deep into wrestling with all the emotions and questions that are raised by such a devastating illness. This is by far the best book I have encountered that combines wise personal, medical, psychological, historical, and deeply theological insights on a controversial topic. A great resource for families, students, and professionals.” ~ Richard Winter, Psychotherapist; Professor Emeritus of Applied Theology and Counseling, Covenant Theological Seminary, St. Louis

You can pre-order this book at any of the following sites and learn more from perusing the sample pages included (as pointed out below):

Where to Pre-order:

UPDATE: It is also available for order now from Westminster Bookstore.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by the publisher. The reviewer was under no obligation to offer a positive review.

UPDATE: Read my review of this book here.

Parenting in a Distinctively Christian Way

~ Bob Hayton ~ 6 Comments

Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus by Elyse M. Fitzpatrick and her daughter Jessica Thompson, is truly a must-read book. It is a parenting book that promises to rock your world! That’s my assessment after watching a 90 minute interview of Elyse Fitzpatrick on Desiring God Live.

The thing that struck me the most in watching the interview, was the author’s burden that we parent in a distinctively Christian way. She said something like this: “If your kids were transplanted into a Mormon home, would they notice anything different?” Mormons, Jews, and Muslims even, want their children to respect authority, be nice to their siblings, fit into society and grow up to be good, moral people. Is that all we’re after as Christian parents?

I thought immediately of Bryan Chapell’s point from his book Christ-Centered Preaching. He said something like: “If the sermon you preached could be equally preached in a Jewish synagogue, Mormon Tabernacle or Muslim mosque, then you didn’t preach a Christian sermon.” (I’m totally paraphrasing by the way….)

What is distinctively Christian about our parenting? Are we sending the wrong message when we chide our children for disobeying the rules claiming they should have been able to obey them? Do we expect our kids to have the power to just obey by will-power? Is that how we live the Christian life?

Fitzpatrick went on to say how there are two kinds of children, basically. Prodigals and elder brothers. The law has an effect on prodigals, it causes them to chafe and run. The law has an opposite effect on elder brother-types, the Pharisees. They enjoy the law because they can keep it, and it’s an occasion for pride to them. Both of these types of children (and there are often more than one type inside one kid), need to understand that mercy trumps judgment. Mercy is better than law. Sadly, too often, all we give either child is a healthy does of law with little idea of Christian mercy and God’s grace.

When we praise our children, too, we can subtly instill in them a love of praise and the notion that if they try hard and do well, they’ll earn favor. But this idea is antithetical to the Gospel and is NOT how God views them.

All this is from the interview, and it really makes me want to pick up this book. I highly encourage my readers to pick up a copy of it as well. For now watch the interview, it will be worth the investment of your time. Once I get the book, I hope to blog some more about the themes covered in this book.

The book just released and is available at these fine retailers: Westminster Bookstore, Christianbook.com, Amazon.com, and direct from Crossway Books.