Responding to Gay Marriage

Everyone is sharing their thoughts on the Supreme Court’s recent decision to establish marriage as a right to any two people (regardless of gender). And from the intensity and number of both positive and negative reactions, this certainly does feel like a momentous step in our nation’s history. I wanted to bring together some rambling thoughts I’ve had on this issue and point to some resources that may prove helpful.

1) This is not a simple question.

Should we be against “gay marriage” in the civil arena? In light of developments and where we are now at, many Christians would say “of course!” But it isn’t as easy as that.

On this question I have been moved (in a humane way) by the desire of two people for mutual connection and a permanent relationship, and especially about their need for legal status when it comes to end of life scenarios and other important concerns. Some thought “civil unions” was a way to permit this and yet hold marriage for one man and woman, as it has always been. But that solution no longer is viable, it would seem. For more on this line of thinking (the plight of those who experience same-sex attraction) I strongly recommend Wesley Hill’s book Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality (read my review here).

I have also been keenly aware of just how clear Scripture is on the nature of true marriage and the intent of marriage – to be a picture of Christ and the church. Redefining marriage doesn’t change its nature, it just lessens the idea and makes it more of a bland, pliable entity. Joe Carter explores that angle well in an article for Tabletalk called “Defining Marriage.”

A third consideration has been the futility of legislating morality. I can hold onto a biblical definition of marriage but allow others to have their own opinion – why do we have to force others to live up to Christian values? Additionally, should the church really be focusing so much on political questions? John Piper didn’t think so, and I agreed. Furthermore, focusing clearly on the marriage issue can tend to obscure the Gospel and imply that Christianity is just about morality. This is why I was leery of the Manhattan Declaration. Yet, morality and law do go together, some laws clearly are moral concerns. And encouraging a good society – protecting children and the rights of biological parents, these factors all make this particular issue (gay marriage) one that may very well be worth fighting, just from a pragmatic standpoint.

2) What about America?

Many Christians love America, and to a certain extent I do too. So how should we feel about our nation’s embrace of gay marriage?

Well, I agree with John Piper that we should weep over the “institutionalizing” of sin that it represents. And we should not be afraid of standing up for truth and owning the offense of the Cross.

But in another sense, America has always been a pagan nation. We can certainly pray for God to bless our country, but the direction she is going puts the lie to the commonly held assumption that America somehow deserves God’s blessing. Christians are citizens of a heavenly country, and God used this sociopolitical nation to advance his Church, just as he used other nations in other times. God is doing big things in other places, and we don’t have a corner on Him.

3) How is the Church to respond?

If you don’t click on any link in this post other than this one, that would be fine. Russell Moore’s article in the Washington Post is incredibly helpful with regard to this question: “Why the Church should neither cave nor panic about the decision on gay marriage.” Read that and be encouraged.

As for strategy when it comes to pastors and how they go about marrying heterosexual couples only and avoid legal troubles, I actually think Roger Olson’s proposal is worth considering. Be sure to read his follow up post too.

And of course, we should continue to resist the pressure to reinterpret the Scripture. Kevin DeYoung has given us a very helpful book that clearly explains the arguments being made that try to say the Bible doesn’t forbid homosexual practice. His book addresses the chief arguments and opens up the Scripture in a clear and forthright manner – and is careful to be charitable and loving in its tone. The book is from Crossway and is titled simply What Does the Bible Teach About Homosexuality?

Finally, we should not be surprised if we are misunderstood and hated. Jesus promised this: “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. 19 If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” (John 15:18-19). Persecution is promised: “Through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God” (Acts 14:22). A martyr complex will do us no good.

In conclusion, let me just share a link to a post I wrote on the occasion of gay marriage being legal in Minnesota. My comments there apply to today as well: “Marriage, Meaning and Minnesota: How to React to the News that Gay Marriage is Now Legal.”

“When Sinners Say ‘I Do’ DVD” by Dave Harvey

When Sinners Say I Do DVD by Dave HarveyMedia Details:
• Speaker: Dave Harvey
• Director: Patrick Gines
• Publisher: Shepherd Press (2014)
• Format: DVD
• Run Time: 195 minutes
• ISBN/ASIN#: 1633420922
• List Price: $59.99 (sale at Shepherd Press for $39.95)
• Rating: Must Watch

Blurbs:
“Dave Harvey skillfully exposes the real root of most marriage problems — each spouse is still a sinner. But he doesn’t leave us to wallow in our sin. He shows the way out through the ongoing power of the gospel. This will be helpful for any married couple whether they’ve been married five weeks or fifty years.”
—Jerry Bridges, Author of the Pursuit of Holiness

“Listen closely as Dave Harvey teaches on the struggles that characterize all marriages. His words are clear and inviting. He says it in a way that is fresh and humble. He cuts to the heart of what all of us are like—people needing daily, freely-given mercies from the Lord. And he cuts to the heart of what all of us need—not self-help, not a pep talk, not a few tips, but an active Savior. Listen, take to heart, and you will grow wiser as a husband or wife.”
—David Powlison, Executive Director, CCEF; Senior Editor, Journal of Biblical Counseling

“There is no laboratory for the grace of God like the family home. And there is no relationship so crucial to the work of grace in our homes as our marriages. It’s for these reasons I’m so grateful for Dave Harvey’s careful, wise, and relevant teaching in When Sinners Say I Do. Watch closely with your spouse or spouse-to-be, and let Dave lead you with great experience and pastoral care through the hard places of marriage right into the very throne room of God, where you both will find abundant grace for every need you have from now until your nineties.”
—Jared C. Wilson, Director of Content Strategy, Midwestern Seminary; TGC Blogger, The Gospel-Driven Church

Review:
Marriage is under attack today from all sides. Churches are being pressured to recognize marriages between people of the same gender. Our culture insists on “divorce on demand.” Even in conservative evangelical churches it seems that marriages have never been more unstable. Christians are getting divorced at alarmingly high rates.

Solutions to our dilemma abound. There are countless counseling resources and video series aimed at spicing up your marriage, learning the right “love talk,” or trying increasingly bizarre sexual practices as a way to keep our marriages vibrant.

Dave Harvey points out what should be obvious. The problem with marriages lasting comes down to one simple point. Marriage always involves 2 people and both of them are sinners! His book When Sinners Say “I Do” has helped many Christian couples. Now Shepherd Press has released an 8 part video series in an effort to equip the church with Dave’s important message.

This DVD series showcases Pastor Harvey walking through different passages of Scripture and unpacking the Gospel message that applies to our marriages. He emphasizes that sin is often at the root of relational conflict. He stresses the complementary design of God for man and woman. He preaches contentment and the role of mercy. He talks frankly about sex as God’s gift for each spouse – to be mutually enjoyed. And he points to the power for change: God’s stubborn grace.

The sessions are between 20 and 30 minutes long and focus just on Dave and his message. I appreciate this length as it allows the DVD series to be used both in SS classes and small group settings, or even as a seminar or workshop for a marriage retreat. The shorter time allows for questions and interaction by a local pastor or teacher who leads a group of couples through this material. Included with the video is a link to a .PDF study guide which can accompany the DVD and facilitate group discussion.

The series is appropriate for single adults as well, and they are from time to time addressed. It is also helpful for both older and younger couples — he speaks to the needs of both. In his talk on sex, Harvey is careful to be discreet and yet still direct.

The sessions do not major on the psychology of marriage. More time is devoted to unpacking and applying God’s word and then drawing application to marriage. Harvey’s advice is seasoned with years of ministry experience. He brings appropriate and helpful illustrations to capture the attention of the audience. And his insights are powerful and helpful. People in a variety of backgrounds and situations in life will benefit from this series.

I can’t wait to share this in a group setting – either with our small group or a church SS class. I hope this gains a wide audience and encourages many a couple with Gospel grace for their marriage.

Sample:
See six preview clips here, or watch the introduction below.

About the Speaker:
Dave Harvey serves as the Pastor of Preaching at Four Oaks Community Church in Tallahassee, FL. He serves as the Chairman of the board of the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation (CCEF), as well as the Chairman of the Board of the Sojourn Network. He is the author of a number of books, including Am I Called, Rescuing Ambition, and When Sinners Say “I Do.” Dave lives in Tallahassee, Florida with his wife, Kim. They have four grown children.

Where to Buy:
• Amazon
• ChristianBook.com
• direct from Kregel

Disclaimer:
This DVD was provided by the publisher for review. The reviewer was under no obligation to offer a positive review.

Marriage, Meaning and Minnesota: How to React to the News that Gay Marriage is Now Legal

We came back from family wedding this past weekend to realize that Minnesota (our state) passed legislation legalizing gay marriage. Gov. Dayton signed it into law last night, to be put into effect on August 1! My how times change. This new legal reality is coming to a state or municipality near you – and soon.

How is a Christian to respond? There are obviously a lot of Christian pastors and leaders with great things to say, so I’m just chiming in from my own angle – I don’t claim this is advice that will rock the world, just what might be a few helpful thoughts.

1) Don’t freak out. God is not surprised. He’s still on the throne.

The worldly state (think “city of man”) has long embraced what God has forbidden. In Paul’s day, the vice that was legal in places like Corinth and Rome would make your skin crawl. Open sex in temples full of paid prostitute-priestesses (and priests) – all in the name of mystery religion. The slave trade, women captured in war with the victor using them as he wishes. Roman senators with love-boys and lewd public banquets. Oh and Christians were the ones rescuing unwanted infants left “exposed” to die on street corners. They were also the ones who couldn’t participate openly in commerce since that required obligatory offerings to the pagan gods. Christians were the ones who accepted people of all socioeconomic statuses and lived as brothers and sisters. They took care of one another – even when huddled together in the arena facing lions or death by any number of other more gruesome means. So don’t be surprised when the world hates us. Read John 15:18-21 along with Matt. 5:10-12.

2) Remember the State has never defined marriage, God created it and He defines it.

Now worldly cultures and states have developed different traditions and laws governing marriage. In many African tribes, polygamy is normal with either the women or the men in a position of dominance. In ancient times the king could sleep with the bride on her wedding night by right. Whole religions still maintain a priestly class that is forbidden to marry but who nevertheless engages in illicit sex. The world’s structures are broken and always have been. It wasn’t too long ago when Christians were denouncing the government for allowing divorce for unbiblical reasons. Now just about anything goes. The state will let a man marry seven times to seven different women. So if the same state lets a man marry a man, why should we be alarmed? Christians should be defending marriage of one woman and one man for life – the biblical ideal. The exceptions allowing divorce should be rare and not jumped to at any possible opportunity by those who name Christ’s name. See my post pleading against frivolous divorce here.

3) Take heart in the true meaning of marriage.

Marriage is more than a ticket to government benefits. If that is all marriage is — and in our culture of long-standing, live-in relationships, this seems more and more what marriage is — then no wonder everyone should have the same “right.” But this isn’t about tax benefits — it is about what marriage means. Marriage is a picture of God’s covenant relationship with us. And it is for this reason that divorce should be rare among Christians. Our marriages should be pictures of the ultimate marriage of Christ and the Church. See Eph. 5:25-32 for more on this. I would also encourage you to seek out a copy of Tim Keller’s masterful book on the subject: The Meaning of Marriage. Ultimately, marriage isn’t about us, it’s about God. And God can defend it in our culture better than we can. Rather than being devastated by the abuse of marriage in the public arena let us be busy living out our lives as the “salt of the earth” letting our marriages shine before the watching world so they can see the true purpose of marriage and glory in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ (see Matt. 5:13-16).

4) Be careful in our reaction to this news.

As most Christians undoubtedly will express dismay at this turn of events, we must be especially careful as to how we react publicly. We must be careful as to how our words and actions will be perceived too, because we care about giving a faithful and clear witness to a watching world. Too often, we have allowed our opposition to the homosexual agenda, to come across as a mean-spirit against homosexual people. And while we are right to be concerned at loose definitions of homophobia and the desire of some to classify orthodox Christian teaching as hate speech, there nonetheless has been homophobia and hate speech in some sectors of Christianity. Furthermore, our strong opposition to homosexual marriage can be misunderstood to convey that the Church really is all about controlling others and seeking to gain and keep onto political power in its desire to impose morality on others. Rather than evincing compassion and understanding toward those struggling with homosexual desires, our actions and sometimes our attitudes say that we are better than them. We are normal, they are not. And if they just quit misbehaving they could be like the rest of us decent heterosexual beings. But isn’t this the opposite of the gospel’s fundamental truth that you can’t save yourself, and that only by God’s grace can we overcome our innate desires (present in everyone’s fallen heart) toward evil? Christianity is not about external morality and do-it-yourself reform; it begins and ends with Christ on the cross and a gospel of grace. As we interact with those in the workplace and our communities who consider themselves homosexuals, let us ponder anew how we can call them to a life of self-denial that is ultimately worth it because of the glory of our Savior and the glorious gospel of His grace for sinners. For more posts on homosexuality from a biblical perspective, see these earlier posts. I would also highly recommend Wesley Hill’s book, Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality.

G.K. Beale’s “Three Angles of Assurance”

I’m almost finished making my way through G.K. Beale’s A New Testament Biblical Theology: The Unfolding of the Old Testament in the New (Baker Academic, 2011). It has truly been a rewarding experience in so many ways. Some may question the sanity of reading through a 1,000 page theology book. I have found Beale’s work, however, to be not only intellectually stimulating but also spiritually moving. He unpacks the soul-thrilling message of both testaments of Scripture and like a master jeweler, brings out the innate beauty of the Gem of the Bible in all its brilliance and power. Reading Beale is reading the big picture of Scripture.

Beale also repeatedly brings application and pastoral concerns to bear. He is a theologian with a pastor’s heart, and he never fails to provide the takeaways and connect the dots from theology to Christian living. A perfect example of this is his treatment of assurance. The graphic pictured below is my attempt to reproduce a drawing on pg. 867, in an excursus on assurance, which I found incredibly helpful. I hope my readers will as well.

Beale's 'Three Angles of Assurance'

[Since] Christians do not reach perfection and they sin to varying degrees and in varying ways, and even the most righteous saints become increasingly aware of how sinful they are, how can they be assured that they have a true saving relationship with God? There is no simple answer to this, but there is what may be understood as a cumulative answer that comes from different angles of consideration. We may view the believer’s assurance from three angles, with each angle contributing to an aspect of assurance.

Each point of the [above] triangle represents a truth about how a Christian receives assurance.

Trust in God’s Promise of Salvation through Christ

First, God promises throughout the NT that those who place their faith in Christ and his redemptive work will receive an inner assurance that they have truly benefited from Christ’s work (the top of the triangle). [Beale goes on to discuss 1 John 5:9-15 in support of this point and continues] in this passage from 1 John assurance of true faith comes from (1) the internal witness of the Spirit; (2) the reliability of God’s word that he will give life in the Son to those who believe; (3) the confidence that God hears and answers the faithful prayers of those who ask for salvation in the Son. In fact, the purpose of the entire epistle of 1 John is to give this assurance (v. 13).

Good Works

The role of “good works” is a second angle from which to view the nature of assurance (the bottom left part of the triangle). As we have seen, one who has truly been resurrected (Eph. 2:4-6) and thus becomes a part of the new creation will inevitably and increasingly be characterized by good works (Eph. 2:10) instead of behaving like “dead people” in bondage to “trespasses and sins” (Eph. 2:1-3). Likewise 2 Pet. 1:3-4 explains that Christians possess God’s “divine power” and reflect God’s image (the “divine nature”), and on this basis they are to grow in the fruits of godliness (vv. 5-8). [Beale goes on to discuss verses 10-11 and concludes that] assurance of one’s “calling and choosing” and final “entrance into the eternal kingdom” increases with growth in doing godly things.

Accordingly, believers’ assurance of truly being part of the new creation comes as they look back at their former life and see the changes that have come about since they became Christian. Those who may have grown up from an early age as a Christian may not have such radical differences between their past and present. Nevertheless, they should not be characterized by the kinds of sins that Paul lists in 1 Cor. 6:9-10. Such people also gain a degree of assurance from this recognition. All Christians, to one degree or another, ought to be able to look back and see that they have progressed in godliness during the course of their Christian lives (recalling also that as such growth occurs, ironically so does increasing awareness of remaining sin). This observation ought to bolster Christians’ confidence that they are genuine.

Given time, if confessing believers have not changed the ungodly lifestyles of their former believing lives, then such people should not be given assurance that they have truly believed. Perhaps they are true Christians, but they should not have affirmation that they are…. Possibly, such a lack of assurance might shock them either into the reality of their faith, so that they change, or shock them into truly believing for the first time.

Conviction by the Spirit

The presence of the conviction of sin within professing Christians is a third angle from which to understand assurance… When Christians think or do unholy things, there should be immediate conflict and dissonance with the indwelling Holy Spirit, who is in the process of causing the believer to reach the goal of complete end-time righteousness. Those who are accordingly convicted about their sin will express repentance and change their sinful ways. Those who have no conviction about indwelling sin should have no conviction that they are genuine saints.

Therefore, faithful, growing Christians should receive multiple assurances from these three angles, which have a cumulative force, enhancing the overall sense of confidence about the reality of their Christian experience. What if a Christian is inconsistent in progressing in good works, and an area of life is not under submission to the Lord of the new creation? Such a person should be under great conviction about this sin, and if so, it is a good sign that the Spirit is really in the person, bringing about conviction. Such a person should not doubt knowing God, unless as time goes on the conviction over sin does not issue into repentance, a turning away from the sin being committed.

However, no confidence should exist in those who profess to believe in Jesus but who reflect no discernible change for the good in their lifestyles and who have no conviction about changing their sinful ways.

Generally, the closer people get to God as faith grows, the more such people will desire to please God by what they do, and the more they will be convicted by the remaining sin in them. As a result, they will have even greater assurance as they progress in their Christian lives. [excerpted from pp. 867-870]

I find Beale’s advice to be both important and encouraging. Even our awareness of failure can encourage us, and the very fight against sin is an evidence of being a legitimate child of God (see my post on Heb. 12 on that point). For more on the Biblical teaching on perseverance see any of the following articles:

You can purchase Beale’s book at any of the following retailers: Westminster Bookstore, Monergism Books, Christianbook.com, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or direct from Baker.

Jonathan Edwards on the Problem of Evil

With the recent tragedy at Newtown Connecticut, the problem of evil is on everyone’s mind. How could such an evil act be perpetrated? How could God allow such evil? Would a loving God really allow the deaths of 20 innocent children?

Tragedies like this, and the questions it raises, lead meany people to blame God. Others point to this problem as evidence that a true God does not exist. Or they reshape their thoughts about God. He is nice and helpful and all, but limited. Like an old grandfather, he is saddened by our losses and didn’t want this to happen. He was just unable to prevent it – or worse, he didn’t see it coming.

In contrast to such man-centered thoughts, the Scripture’s teaching on evil and suffering is that God permits it, and works behind it, to accomplish His purposes. For those who love God and believe in Him (the elect), God works everything together for their good (Rom. 8:28). And ultimately, God “works all things according to the counsel of his will” (Eph. 1:11). God “does according to his will among the host of heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth; and none can stay his hand or say to him, ‘What have you done?'” (Dan. 4:35). He “has made everything for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble” (Prov. 16:4). And Amos 3:6 declares soberingly, “Does disaster come to a city, unless the LORD has done it?”

If God is truly sovereign, then, why did He choose to allow such sin and suffering in this world? Theologians refer to this as “the problem of evil.” Why does evil exist, in such poignant and powerful measure as displayed so chillingly just this last week? This question is not merely for theists. What explanation can atheists give to this puzzling question? They would have to explain how evil, as a category, can exist without a holy God. If there is no God, than who’s to say what evil is?

Ultimately, Jonathan Edwards has perhaps the clearest answer that I have found. I delve into his thought a bit in this article, but here I want to share a quote I recently included in my SS class this past Sunday. May it help clarify your thinking on this point, and see how truly great and glorious God really is.

God’s awful majesty, his authority and dreadful greatness, justice, and holiness… would not shine forth as the [other parts of divine glory] do, and also the glory of his goodness, love, and holiness would be faint without them; nay, they could scarcely shine forth at all… There would be no manifestation of God’s grace or true goodness, if there was no sin to be pardoned, no misery to be saved from. No matter how much happiness he might bestow, his goodness would not be nearly as highly prized and admired…. and the sense of his goodness heightened. So evil is necessary if the glory of God is to be perfectly and completely displayed

[quoted in Chosen for Life by Sam Storms (Crossway, 2007), pg. 186-187]

As a follow up to this thought, here are some earlier articles of mine along these same lines.