Book Excerpt: Sam Crabtree on Not Rewarding Disobedience

I recently finished a helpful little book on parenting by Sam Crabtree, Parenting with Loving Correction: Practical Help for Raising Young Children. In a chapter entitled “Reward Obedience, Not Disobedience” Crabtree shares the following pointed anecdote.

A friend of ours stopped by our house with her elementary school-aged son. As she stood chatting with my wife, Vicki, the boy climbed onto the back of the couch.

“Neil, get down off the couch,” the mother said.

The boy sat there unmoved as she continued to chat.

“Neil, get down off the couch,” she repeated, then kept talking with Vicki about other things.

The boy visibly stiffened his resolve. On his face and in his posture, you could see it: of all the things in the world Neil could do, he wasn’t going to get down from that couch.

The game was on.

“Neil, if you don’t get down off that couch, Sam and Vicki aren’t going to like you.”

Frankly, that’s irrelevant. To Neil, whether we like him or not was immaterial. (We like him. Years later I officiated at his wedding.)

The boy stayed put. Neil’s defiance had become the issue — not the couch, and not Sam and Vicki. The mother started digging in her purse. “Here, Neil, I’ll give you this candy bar if you get down off the couch.” When she pulled out the candy bar, he hopped down and fetched the candy bar.

Checkmate.

Mom loses.

Get this: she may think she’s rewarding him for his obedience. Actually, she’s paying him to disobey her. guess what she’s going to get lots more of?

Neil was obeying not his mother, but his sweet tooth. And the mother was catering to that….

…If you’re startled at the thought that you might actually be rewarding rebellion, whining, sassiness, and disobedience in your child, keep reading. None of us wants to be a parent that rewards the wrong thing in our child. This chapter can help you avoid that.

(p. 77-79 – italics and bold emphasis added)

The rest of the book is as on-point as the anecdote above. And while Crabtree’s diagnosis is sharp, his bedside manner is quite mild. I highly recommend his book (and hope to review it more fully later).

You can pick up a copy of this new book by Mohler from Amazon.com, Westminster Bookstore, Christianbook.com, or direct from Crossway Books.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by the publisher. I was under no obligation to offer a positive review.

Quotes to Note 45: Herman Bavinck on Yearning for God’s Word

Herman Bavinck is best known as a Reformed theologian from the early 20th Century. His four volume Reformed Dogmatics has been widely respected and embraced in the English speaking Reformed community. I am currently reading a small book he wrote on the importance of public confession of faith that has been reissued with a new English translation by Hendrickson Publishers.

In an almost Spurgeon-esque way, Bavinck’s writing abounds with Scriptural allusions and references. Here is a gem from this book, focused on the role of the Word of God in the believer’s life.

…it is a true mark of spiritual life when our heart yearns after and longs for that word. It is completely natural, just as one who is hungry longs for bread, the thirsty for water, and the sick for medicine. Just as naturally, the one who is spiritual with a holy longing reaches for the word of God and for Christ, who is offered in that word. Those who are spiritual never grow beyond that word. Unlike the mystic’s dreams, the word is not used as a ladder to ascend to a certain height, and then to spread one’s own wings and support oneself. Anyone who tries to do so will soon fall to earth broken. Anyone who refuses food will soon starve. Anyone who does not heed the word of Christ does not love him [1 John 5:3]. Anyone who rejects medicine has no need of a physician.

But the spiritual person, as long as one lives and with all one’s soul, feels bound to that word as the means of communion and fellowship with God, because God has bound himself to that word. It is only in the proportion one is planted in that word that one grows and becomes stronger. As ivy to a wall, the spiritual person holds fast to the word. As one leans upon a rod or a staff on a pilgrimage, so one leans on the word. One becomes increasingly attached to it, and increasingly devoted to it. The spiritual person’s love for the word becomes stronger, considers it ever increasing in value, and always finds in it a rich treasure for both heart and life. For the one who is spiritual, it becomes increasingly God’s word, a word that comes to that person from God, a letter from one’s Father sent from heaven, to be a guide to the Father’s house. “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path” [Ps. 119:105]. “Oh how I love your law! It is my meditation all the day” [Ps. 119:97].

Therefore parents must feed their covenant child, even from early childhood , with this word….

~ Bavinck, Herman, The Sacrifice of Praise (Hendrickson Publishers, 2019), translated and edited by Cameron Clausing and Gregory Parker Jr., pp. 24-25.

Pick up a copy of this book from Westminster Bookstore, Christianbook.com, Amazon.com or direct from Hendrickson.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by the publisher, I was under no obligation to offer a favorable review.

Quotes to Note 44: John Calvin on the Theme of 1 Peter

One of my favorite books in the Bible is 1 Peter. Earlier this year I was privileged to fill the pulpit at our church and the text of my sermon was 1 Peter 1:3-12 (you can download that sermon for free here). In studying for that message I came across a gem from John Calvin in his commentary on 1 Peter. I share the quotation here for your benefit.

The design of Peter in this Epistle is to exhort the faithful to a denial of the world and a contempt of it, so that being freed from carnal affections and all earthly hindrances, they might with their whole soul aspire after the celestial kingdom of Christ, that being elevated by hope, supported by patience, and fortified by courage and perseverance, they might overcome all kinds of temptations, and pursue this course and practice throughout life.

Hence at the very beginning he proclaims in express words the grace of God made known to us in Christ; and at the same time he adds, that it is received by faith and possessed by hope, so that the godly might raise up their minds and hearts above the world. Hence he exhorts them to holiness, lest they should render void the price by which they were redeemed, and lest they should suffer the incorruptible seed of the Word, by which they had been regenerated into eternal life, to be destroyed or to die. And as he had said, that they had been born again by God’s Word he makes mention of their spiritual infancy. Moreover, that their faith might not vacillate or stagger, because they saw that Christ was despised and rejected almost by the whole world, he reminds them that this was only the fulfilment of what had been written of him, that he would be the stone of stumbling. But he further teaches them that he would be a firm foundation to those who believe in him. Hence he again refers to the great honour to which God had raised them, that they might be animated by the contemplation of their former state, and by the perception of their present benefits, to devote themselves to a godly life.

~ Calvin’s Commentaries, vol. 22 [Baker], Commentaries on the Catholic Epistles, p. 21-22

Calvin captures the heart of Peter’s theme in 1 Peter. He goes on to walk through the epistle in broad sweeping strokes. Reading this stirs my soul and reminds me that the “classics” really are classic, and Calvin’s genius really should be appreciated (and made use of for my own spiritual growth).

Calvin’s Commentaries are available for purchase at Amazon, or you can access them online for free here.

Book Briefs: “Assurance: Resting in God’s Salvation” by William P. Smith


The latest addition to P & R Publishing’s “31 Day Devotionals for Life” series has just been released. Assurance: Resting in God’s Salvation by William P. Smith is an encouraging look at the important doctrine of assurance. But this book is more than just an academic treatment of a biblical subject: it is a devotional celebration of the richness of the Gospel of grace.

With each of the thirty-one readings, Pastor Smith invites the reader to a warm and personal one-on-one chat. He unpacks God’s role in our salvation and repeatedly stresses our part is to receive. Our love falters, but God first loved us. We didn’t conceive ourselves, being God’s children is His plan not ours. Our failures and missteps were known ahead of time: and just as Jesus foresaw Peter’s denial yet prayed for and loved him anyway, so to will Jesus be faithful despite our frailties. Each reading includes a section for reflection or action, and the book includes recommended resources for further study.

A few quotes can capture the spirit of this little gem of a book:

Does your love for him seem weak and feeble at times? Try looking at it from a different perspective: Do you have any love at all? Since you used to have none, the presence of some tells you that right now, he loves you. (58)

God is not surprised that your life doesn’t perfectly reflect his glory. But he does intend it to. Jesus did not die for the mere possibility that you might end up a little bit better than you used to be. He died to guarantee that one day you would be pure and perfect, just like him. (76)

If God can transform Jacob, he can transform you too. (82)

You have much greater confidence in your ability to ruin your life than in God’s ability to rescue you from yourself and to redeem you. (84)

Smith deals with several of the passages that doubters often worry most about — the unpardonable sin and the warnings for those who deny Christ, among them. His treatment takes to heart Jude’s admonition (Jude 22) to “have mercy on those who doubt.” He explains, “Mercy to the doubting must characterize God’s people, because it characterizes God” (85). That said, I do think a word about true apostates could be in order, since today many of us have close friends or family who have walked away from the faith: leaving us to grapple with our own faith as well as their departure. People can shipwreck their faith – so what does that look like when we talk about assurance?

My own quibbles aside, this is a helpful and hope-building book that deserves a wide audience. Many are weak in the faith and beset by doubts. This book can fortify their faith. I highly recommend it.

Pick up a copy of this book at any of the following online retailers:
Westminster Bookstore, Amazon, ChristianBook.com, or direct from P & R.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by the publisher. The reviewer was under no obligation to offer a positive review.

About Book Briefs: Book Briefs are book notes, or short-form book reviews. They are my informed evaluation of a book, but stop short of being a full-length book review.

Lost in a Good Footnote: The Final Number of the Saved

Have you ever read something in a footnote that was just too good to leave there? If you are like me, you can get “lost in a good footnote.” This post focuses on another great footnote.

Conservative evangelicals share the traditional position of the Church down through the centuries with respect to a literal Hell. Universalism (the belief that all people will be eventually be saved) has had its proponents but has always been a minority position in the Church. The Bible teaches that there is a literal Hell where the unbelieving will endure conscious torment in punishment for their sins. Such torment is never-ending (Matt. 25:46; Mk. 9:43,48; 2 Thess. 1:8-9). While we don’t know exactly what Hell will be like, the pictures painted in Scripture aren’t pretty. And there is little basis for the annihilationist position either (the belief that the lost will have their existence mercifully ended rather than suffer continually). Jesus spoke more of Hell than of Heaven, and evangelicals traditionally have included a warning of Hell along with their appeals to believe in the gospel.

The idea of eternal torment is hard to stomach in our contemporary world, and it seems unjust by human standards. This makes the doctrine of Hell something that believers have always grappled with. Alongside a belief in Hell stands the assumption that the Bible also teaches that the majority of humanity will end up there. Such a belief is widespread in Christian circles, and many former Evangelicals condemn Christianity for it. They rejoice in denouncing as harmful a religion they see as teaching that a spiteful God gleefully consigns most of humanity to Hell.

But does the Bible explicitly teach that most of humanity will ultimately miss out on salvation and an eternity with God in heaven? Many Christians will point to the Sermon on the Mount and Jesus’ explanation that a wide road goes to destruction with many are on that road; but a narrow road leads to life and few are the ones who find it (Matt. 7:13-14). To this is added the common experience of the Church over the years as being a “remnant” and a marginalized slice of society.

Here is where the footnote I mentioned comes in. In William Boekestein’s new book The Future of Everything: Essential Truths about the End Times (Reformation Heritage Books, 2019), we find the following in his chapter on Hell:

Other Reformed theologians have been even more optimistic: on the basis of God’s electing grace, “we have reason to believe…that the number of the finally lost in comparison with the whole number of the saved will be very inconsiderable. Our blessed Lord, when surrounded by the innumerable company of the redeemed, will be hailed as the…Savior of Men, as the Lamb that bore the sins of the world.”17 “In the lack of people is the downfall of a prince” (Prov. 14:28). Will God have such a problem? Will He not be honored by a multitude?

…The diverse and often unexpected ways God has fulfilled past promises “should render us modest in our interpretation of those predictions which remain to be accomplished; satisfied that what we know not now we shall know hereafter.”18
(p. 93-94, bold emphasis added)

This hints that it is possible that more than just a few will be saved. I was interested in hearing more and found the following footnote quite instructive:

17 [Charles] Hodge, Systematic Theology, 3:879–80. B. B. Warfield also affirms that “the number of the saved shall in the end be not small but large, and not merely absolutely but comparatively large; …to speak plainly, it shall embrace the immensely greater part of the human race.” “Are They Few that Be Saved?” in Biblical and Theological Studies, ed. Samuel G. Craig (Philadelphia: Presbyterian and Reformed, 1968), 349. In this essay Warfield argues that the texts (e.g., Matt. 7:13–14) frequently adduced to sustain the argument that the total number elected are few, in fact merely reflect the situation of pervasive unbelief current in Jesus’s day. Most pointedly, they urge the hearers not to prognosticate about the proportion of the elect but that “salvation is difficult and that it is our duty to address ourselves to obtaining it with diligence and earnest effort.” He adds, “We can never learn” from these texts “how many are saved” (338). On a related text, Matthew 22:14, Calvin recognizes that while the apparent ratio of saved to unsaved persons varies throughout the ages, Jesus’s words, “For many are called, but few are chosen” ought not prompt us to “enter… into the question about the eternal election of God.” Commentary on a Harmony of the Evangelists, Matthew, Mark, and Luke (Grand Rapids: Baker, 1989), 2:175.
18 Hodge, Systematic Theology, 3:850–51.
(pg. 94, bold emphasis added)

I then found that the essay from B.B. Warfield is available online. It is a relatively quick read, you can find it here: Are They Few That Be Saved?

Warfield gives a treatment of the three passages most often claimed to support the idea that few are saved: Luke 13:23, Matthew 7:13, and Matthew 22:14. His treatment of Luke 13:23 and its immediate context is quite convincing, and serves to provide the background for his treatment of the other passages. His case is bolstered by appeal to others who agree with his position. His main point in the essay is to point out how weak the basis is for the doctrine that only few will be saved. Such a position “crumbles when subjected to scrutiny” (p. 10).

While Warfield does not make a case for why we should believe that the majority of mankind will be saved, he does offer some brief thoughts: “Christ must reign until He shall have put all His enemies under His feet—by which assuredly spiritual, not physical, conquest is intimated” and Christ came “to save the world [and] nothing less than the world shall be saved by Him” (p. 10). Earlier in the essay he does look to the Kingdom parables of the mustard seed and the leaven as pointing toward a world-wide conquest of the Gospel as well.

Now this doesn’t answer all our questions around Hell, but it does underscore that the question about how many shall be saved has not been explicitly addressed in Scripture. We can trust in God, whose wisdom is exceedingly above our own. He will right all wrongs and settle all scores – and we can trust in His goodness and kindness.

You can read my review of Boekestein’s book here.

UPDATE: The Gospel Coalition just published an article today (3/13) by William Boekestein on this very subject: Are Only Few People Saved? This is an expanded treatment of the topic I bumped into while reading his footnote. Go read his whole post!