Tag: parenting

Book Excerpt: Sam Crabtree on Not Rewarding Disobedience

~ Bob Hayton ~ Leave a comment

I recently finished a helpful little book on parenting by Sam Crabtree, Parenting with Loving Correction: Practical Help for Raising Young Children. In a chapter entitled “Reward Obedience, Not Disobedience” Crabtree shares the following pointed anecdote.

A friend of ours stopped by our house with her elementary school-aged son. As she stood chatting with my wife, Vicki, the boy climbed onto the back of the couch.

“Neil, get down off the couch,” the mother said.

The boy sat there unmoved as she continued to chat.

“Neil, get down off the couch,” she repeated, then kept talking with Vicki about other things.

The boy visibly stiffened his resolve. On his face and in his posture, you could see it: of all the things in the world Neil could do, he wasn’t going to get down from that couch.

The game was on.

“Neil, if you don’t get down off that couch, Sam and Vicki aren’t going to like you.”

Frankly, that’s irrelevant. To Neil, whether we like him or not was immaterial. (We like him. Years later I officiated at his wedding.)

The boy stayed put. Neil’s defiance had become the issue — not the couch, and not Sam and Vicki. The mother started digging in her purse. “Here, Neil, I’ll give you this candy bar if you get down off the couch.” When she pulled out the candy bar, he hopped down and fetched the candy bar.

Checkmate.

Mom loses.

Get this: she may think she’s rewarding him for his obedience. Actually, she’s paying him to disobey her. guess what she’s going to get lots more of?

Neil was obeying not his mother, but his sweet tooth. And the mother was catering to that….

…If you’re startled at the thought that you might actually be rewarding rebellion, whining, sassiness, and disobedience in your child, keep reading. None of us wants to be a parent that rewards the wrong thing in our child. This chapter can help you avoid that.

(p. 77-79 – italics and bold emphasis added)

The rest of the book is as on-point as the anecdote above. And while Crabtree’s diagnosis is sharp, his bedside manner is quite mild. I highly recommend his book (and hope to review it more fully later).

You can pick up a copy of this new book by Mohler from Amazon.com, Westminster Bookstore, Christianbook.com, or direct from Crossway Books.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by the publisher. I was under no obligation to offer a positive review.

In the Box: New Titles from Crossway Books

~ Bob Hayton ~ Leave a comment

“In the Box” posts highlight new books I’ve received in the mail.

In this post, I want to showcase two of the new titles that at arrived at my doorstep in the last few weeks. I’m truly blessed to be able to read so many great books, and Christian publishers seem to never let up in their race to get high quality materials out the door. We are truly blessed with an abundance of Christian resources to help us in our walk with Christ.

The Love of Loves in the Song of Songs by Philip Ryken

This book is a meditation on Song of Solomon, and helpfully includes the entire biblical text (ESV) of that book. Ryken’s style is easy to read and he shares a wealth of insight from others on this fascinating (and often troubling) book. I appreciate that from the start he does not shy away from appreciating the parallels between Christ and the Church that have historically dominated the interpretation of this book, even as he rejects outright allegoricalism. He also does not eagerly proclaim the book as a manifesto on sexual liberation either, finding its instruction on marital love appropriately muted by the poetic nature of the book, and not as graphic or explicit as quite a few modern writers envision.

UPDATE: Read my review of this book here.

For more about this book, check out the book’s product page at Westminster Bookstore, Christianbook.com, Amazon or Crossway Books.

Note: This book is currently 50% off at Westminster Bookstore.

Parenting with Loving Correction: Practical Help for Raising Young Children by Sam Crabtree

The next Crossway title I received is by Pastor Sam Crabtree of Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis (where I was a member for several years). Knowing Pastor Crabtree personally, I am eager to dig into this work. Like the title of his other book Practicing Affirmation, Pastor Sam is warm and encouraging, and I expect his parental advice to be refreshing and uplifting – while also insightful.

To learn more about this book, check out the book’s product page at Westminster Bookstore, Christianbook.com, Amazon, or Crossway Books.

Note: This book is currently 40% off at Westminster Bookstore through Feb 28.

Book Briefs: “John Newton (Christian Biographies for Young Readers)” by Simonetta Carr

~ Bob Hayton ~ Leave a comment

John Newton (Christian Biographies for Young Readers) by Simonetta Carr

The Christian Biographies for Young Readers series introduces children to key figures from church history. Author Simonetta Carr offers a compelling and beautifully illustrated historical account of the life of each Christian figure profiled in the series. To date, the series includes volumes on Church fathers (Irenaeus, Augustine of Hippo, Athanasius, Anselm of Canterbury), Reformation leaders (John Calvin, Martin Luther, Peter Martyr Vermigli, and John Knox), Reformation era heroines (Lady Jane Grey and Marie Durand), and Puritan notables (John Owen and Jonathan Edwards). The latest volume adds John Newton, to this last category.

John Newton has quite the life story! Kids will be intrigued by his adventures as a sailor, conscripted British Navy-man, and even would-be slave trader. Newton’s pre-conversion days read a little like Gulliver’s travels, but he ends up committing himself to Christ as a result of a brush with death in a near shipwreck.

Newton is best remembered, of course, for his incredibly famous hymn “Amazing Grace”. And this book also highlights his friendship with fellow hymn-writer William Cowper. What is not so widely known about Newton was his influence in the abolition of the slave trade. Carr details how William Wilberforce was influenced by Newton both personally and professionally. Newton was called on as a special witness by British Parliament two times in the years leading up to the eventual end of the slave trade in Great Britain.

Having read many of her works, I appreciate Simonetta Carr’s attention to detail and focus on historical accuracy — evident in this latest book as well. And this book is chuck full of photographs, beautiful illustrations, maps and more. Two of Newton’s letters to his young niece are included, as is a picture of an original handwritten leaf from his Olney Hymns.

The book will introduce young readers to the legacy of John Newton, but it educates and enlightens older readers as well. For instance, did you know that “Amazing Grace” was written to accompany a New Year’s message on the text 1 Chronicles 17:16-17 where David says “Who am I, O Lord God, and what is mine house, that thou has brought me hitherto?” (p. 56). I was particularly moved by the emphasis she placed on Newton’s own simple epitaph he wanted for his memorial:

John Newton clerk. Once an infidel and libertine, a servant of slaves in Africa, was by the rich mercy of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, preserved, restored, pardoned and appointed to preach the faith he had long labored to destroy. (p. 54)

This book deserves a place in church or school libraries, and would make a great addition to your coffee table or personal bookcase. If you haven’t picked up a title in the Christian Biographies for Young Readers series, now would be a good time. You won’t be disappointed with John Newton. I highly recommend it.

Pick up a copy of this book at any of the following online retailers: Amazon, Westminster Bookstore, or direct from Reformation Heritage. Find other works in this series (and other titles from Simonetta Carr) at Westminster Bookstore or direct from Reformation Heritage.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by Reformation Heritage Books. The reviewer was under no obligation to offer a positive review.

About Book Briefs: Book Briefs are book notes, or short-form book reviews. They are my informed evaluation of a book, but stop short of being a full-length book review.

Book Briefs: “Listen Up: 10-Minute Family Devotions on the Parables” by Marty Machowski

~ Bob Hayton ~ Leave a comment

As a parent of eight, I’m always on the lookout for Christian resources we can use in our family devotions. We’ve made use of some of the books from Marty Machowski before (The Gospel Story Bible and others), so I was eager to look at his latest book Listen Up: 10-Minute Family Devotions on the Parables (New Growth Press, 2017). I was not disappointed! Listen Up is a fantastic resource for families and guides readers through a thirteen-week series of lessons focused on the Parables.

Each week starts with an overview of what will be covered, and some prep-work that can be done for an object lesson/illustration introducing the theme for the week. Then 5 lessons follow and include discussion questions and prayer pointers, as well as a deeper dive for older kids or adults. From time to time, the book includes fun facts and points out other resources for further study. The result is an incredibly helpful resource that opens up the Gospels for young readers. Even as an adult and Bible student myself, there were new tidbits to learn — such as what flower is meant by the phrase “lilies of the field.”

The lessons are Gospel-centered and presented from a Reformed-perspective, yet the book is not an overt, over-bearing embrace of the Westminster Confession or anything like that. Conservative Evangelicals of all stripes will appreciate the teaching and themes emphasized in this small book’s pages.

This book goes hand-in-hand with a full-fledged Sunday School curriculum from New Growth Press as well. And the style followed appears to line up with a similar lesson series on Proverbs. Machowski also has Old and New Testament curricula available. Check out New Growth Press for these resources and more.

Parents, get this book! It will help you appreciate the Gospel more and open up the Four Gospels to the young hearts of your children.

Blurbs:
“Marty is a parent’s best friend when it comes to figuring out how to creatively and competently do what we really want to do, which is talk with our kids about what matters most — the word of God.”
—Nancy Guthrie, Author of Dinner Table Devotions and Discussion Starters

“Biblically faithful. Gospel rich. Theologically insightful. Practical. Creative. Engaging. These are some of the words that came to mind as I read through Marty Machowski’s Listen UP! I learned things I didn’t know about the parables, and repeatedly found myself thinking, ‘Parents and their kids are going to benefit so much from this book!’ Marty has obviously done his homework and excels at using the whole Bible to help us understand what Jesus is saying in the parables. Best of all, he consistently points us not only to the words of Jesus, but to Jesus himself as the only Savior of the world.”
—Bob Kauflin, Director of Sovereign Grace Music

“If I ever had to return to my child-rearing years, I’d certainly want to take Listen Up with me. This book of family devotions, written in a lively, vivid style, presents an accurate account of Jesus’s parables and applies them well to the lives of every participant. Machowski includes excellent suggestions for object lessons, group activities, prayer, and ‘going deeper,’ while keeping the actual meetings under ten minutes! I can’t imagine that anyone would follow the book’s directions without becoming a better disciple of Jesus.”
—John Frame, Professor Emeritus of Systematic Theology and Philosophy, Reformed Theological Seminary, Orlando, FL

Where to Buy:
Pick up a copy of this book at any of the following online retailers: Westminster Bookstore, Amazon, ChristianBook.com, or direct from New Growth Press.

Disclaimer:
This book was provided by the publisher. I was under no obligation to offer a positive review.

About Book Briefs: Book Briefs are book notes, or short-form book reviews. They are my informed evaluation of a book, but stop short of being a full-length book review.

Book Briefs: “Irenaeus (Christian Biographies for Young Readers)” by Simonetta Carr

~ Bob Hayton ~ Leave a comment

Irenaeus (Christian Biographies for Young Readers) by Simonetta Carr

The Christian Biographies for Young Readers series introduces children to key figures from church history. Author Simonetta Carr and illustrator Matt Abraxas offer a compelling and beautiful historical account of the life of each Christian figure profiled in the series. To date, the series includes volumes on Reformation leaders (John Calvin, Martin Luther, Peter Martyr Vermigli, and John Knox), Puritan notables (John Owen and Jonathan Edwards), Reformation era heroines (Lady Jane Grey and Marie Durand), and Church fathers (Augustine of Hippo, Athanasius, Anselm of Canterbury). The latest volume adds Irenaeus to this last category.

Irenaeus was a disciple of Polycarp, who was a disciple of John, the Beloved, himself a disciple of Jesus Christ. Irenaeus was known as a polemicist, and defender of Christian faith in the vein of Justin Martyr. Gnosticism was the chief error that Irenaeus attacked in his ministry, but “attack” may be the wrong word. Carr highlights his pastoral motives and efforts to be a peacemaker. The book by which we most remember Irenaeus today is his classic Against Heresies, which is remembered as “one of the first great summaries of Christian thought” (p. 41).

Born in around A.D. 130 in Smyrna (Izmir, Turkey today), Irenaeus eventually migrated to Rome. He then settled in east-central Gaul (now known as France), and pastored in the towns of Vienne and Lyon for more than twenty years, before his death in around A.D. 200. In giving an account of Irenaeus’ life, Carr introduces young readers to other important church figures like Justin Martyr and Polycarp. She also highlights the errors of Marcion, the Valentinians and the Gnostics. The account of Polycarp’s martyrdom is particularly moving.

As a lover of church history, this book truly is a joy to page through. Maps, historical paintings, pictures of Roman catacombs, images of manuscripts, and other pertinent illustrations abound. A “Did You Know?” section, and a timeline help to make this book useful for all readers. The writing is at the level of children, but most adults would do well to brush up on early church history through a reading of this book!

One criticism of this particular volume in the series, was the strange absence of any mention of the books today known as “The Apostolic Fathers.” These are books widely known and read throughout church history – see my review of a modern edition of them. The Epistle of Polycarp to the Philippians, and the work called The Martyrdom of Polycarp could have been easily referred to. These books are not to be treated as more important than Scripture, but they are among the best that church tradition and history has given us.

Having read many of her works, I appreciate Simonetta Carr’s attention to detail and focus on historical accuracy — evident in this latest book as well. I am once again thankful my children will have an opportunity to learn about church history by means of this helpful resource.

This book deserves a place in church or school libraries, and would make a great addition to your coffee table or personal bookcase. If you haven’t picked up a title in the Christian Biographies for Young Readers series, now would be a good time. You won’t be disappointed with Irenaeus. Read also this earlier review of some of the previous titles in the series.

Pick up a copy of this book at any of the following online retailers: Amazon, Westminster Bookstore, or direct from Reformation Heritage.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by the publisher for review. The reviewer was under no obligation to offer a positive review.

About Book Briefs: Book Briefs are book notes, or short-form book reviews. They are my informed evaluation of a book, but stop short of being a full-length book review.